Българска Пастафарианска Църква (Bulgarian Pastafarian Church)

Bulgara Pastafara Eklezio/Болгарская Пастафарианская Церковь/Bulgarische Pastafarian Kirche/Болгарська Пастафаріанська Церква/Biserica Pastafariană Bulgară//Бугарска Пастафариjанска Црква/Bulgar Pastafarian Kilisesi/Bolgár pasztafáriánus egyház/Comunidad Pastafarian de Bulgaria/Comunidade Pastafarian de Bulgaria/. Наша основа е чистата вяра във Всемогъщия Бог и в "единната обща сила на человеческий род на земното кълбо, за да твори добро". Pastafarier aller Länder, vereinigt euch!

20.8.13

БПЦ в "Терминал 7" (BPC in "Terminal 7")

Наскоро Небесният Млад Меринджей ни докосна с Телевизионния си псевдопод и предаванията на "Терминал 7" се разтвориха за нас, та Блажната вест проникна по всички пори и дупчици на гостоприемното студио на "No frame media":

18.05.2013

11.08.2013

1 коментар:

Tiara каза...: Great!; 29.8.13

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Важно за редовните посетители на нашия сайт! (Important for regular visitors of our site!)

Тъй като, както е обяснено най-долу, материалите в този блог постоянно се обновяват (и не зарад нас, не зарад нас, а за Негова прослава само - и за да се разпълзи повсеместно Мазната вест), тук обръщаме внимание кои са трите най-нови промени (извън евентуалното наличие на нови публикации). И така - най-новото е линк към една страхотна статия за обучението по религия в училище в статията "Родни връзки", после са четирите изображения и текстът "дето разпраща навсякъде из ... древна пастафарианска мисъл" със съответното линкче в него, в публикацията "Искаш ли мир...", следва линк (с референсиз-а) към феноменалната научна статия на ст.н.с дбн А.В.Марков (в тясната колонка), публикувана в научното списания "Екология и живот". Приятно макаронстване и нека фино стритите Му подправки се изсипят върху нас!

Бог те обича и ни предлага чуден план (God loves you and offers a wonderful plan for us all)

Бог те обича, а ти обичаш бира с цаца и пържени картофки (Holy Pasta, а што все така се казва, като и рибката също е пържена?!)? Заповядай в нашата - традиционната, БЪЛГАРСКАТА църква! Ти мечтаеш за вечен живот? Единствено в пастафарианския рай - най-страхотния от всички райове в безкрайната Вселена - има вулкан с бира и фабрика за стриптизьорки! Божествената Му Тестеност те зове - отдай се на Макароненото Изкушение - Летящото Спагетено Чудовище е и Пътят, и Тенджерата, и Апетита! Ако за пръв път си тук - започни четеното от най-старите публикации в широката лента (февруари 2008), а след като ги изчетеш всичките, премини и към нещицата от тясната лента. И нека Доматеният Му Сос бъде върху теб! С БПЦ напред! Рамин.

Нека Летящото Спагетено Чудовище да ни освети! (May the Flying Spaghetti Monster enlighten us all!)

“Deĵeti ĉiun feŭdan jugon, ĉiun subpremon de nacioj, ĉiujn privilegiojn al unu el nacioj aŭ al unu el lingvoj estas senkondiĉa devo de la pastafaro” - Ленин. / Скъпи сестри и братя во ЛСЧ, Официалните езици на този сайт и на Българската Пастафарианска Църква са: български, английски, руски и есперанто - можете да изразявате мнения както тук, така и в писма до fsm[at]start.bg; ПАСТАФАРИАНЦИ ОТ ВСИЧКИ СТРАНИ, СЪЕДИНЯВАЙТЕ СЕ! / Dear sisters and brethren in the FSM, Official languages of this site and of the Bulgarian Pastafarian Church are: Bulgarian, English, Russian and Esperanto - you can write also to fsm[at]start.bg; PASTAFARIANS OF THE WORLD, UNITE! / Дорогие сестры и братя во ЛММ, Официальными языками этого сайта и Болгарской Пастафарианской Церкви являются: болгарский, английский, русский и эсперанто - можете писать как здесь, так и по е-мейлу fsm[at]start.bg; ПАСТАФАРИАНЦЬІ ВСЕХ СТРАН, СОЕДИНЯЙТЕСЬ! / Karaj gefratoj en FSM, Oficialaj lingvoj de tiu ĉi paĝaro kaj de la Bulgara Pastafara Eklezio estas: bulgara, angla, rusa kaj Esperanto - vi povas scribi ankaŭ al fsm[at]start.bg; PASTAFAROJ DE ĈIUJ LANDOJ, UNUIĜU!

Подкрепете петицията за по-сериозно отношение! (Support the petition for more serious treatment!)

The petition is for the removal of our sacred text from the "humor" section of Barnes and Noble Booksellers. I am sure we can all agree that this should not continue. Make sure to share this with the rest of your crew! So: “One of the many great things about these United States of America is the fact that no matter where you go, people accept you for who you are. No matter what race, religion, eye color, hair color, size, or weight, you will always be welcomed; however, it has came to the Pastafarian Community’s attention that our sacred text entitled “The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster” has been sorted into your “humor” section. While some people may find this particular literature “humorous”, it is a religious text and should be respected as such. I happen to find it very humorous that a lady was impregnated by a ghost and gave birth to a child who died and came back to life, so I think that the Christian bible should be moved to the “Humor” section as well. You have two options: Move all religious text to the “Humor” section, or move “The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster” to the Religion section.”

Из "Евангелието на Летящото Спагетено Чудовище (From "The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster")

"Behold the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (FSM), today's fastest growing carbohydrate-based religion. According to church founder Bobby Henderson, the universe and all life within it were created by a mystical and divine being: the Flying Spaghetti Monster. What drives the FSM's devout followers, aka Pastafarians? Some say it's the assuring touch from the FSM's Noodly Appendage. Then there are those who love the worship service, which is conducted in Pirate-Speak and attended by congregants in dashing buccaneer garb. Still others are drawn to the Church's flimsy moral standards, religious holidays EVERY Friday, and the fact that Pastafarian Heaven is way cooler: Does your heaven have a Stripper Factory and a Beer Volcano? The Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe and a bunch of planets, including Earth. No one except Himself was around to see it, but we suspect it was rather dull. The initial creation, obviously, must have been spectacular, but He then spent the next ten to one hundred years painstakingly preparing the universe to appear older than it actually is. Photons were placed individually, en route to Earth, ostensibly omitted millions of years ago from stars across the galaxy. In reality, we know that each photon was divinely placed and red-shifted appropriately to make the universe appear to be billions of years old. We are still finding His camouflage methods at work today; each time scientists discover apparent evidence of a billions-of-year-old universe, we can be assured that this is just more elaborate preparation He put in place. Earth was created in approximately 0.062831853 seconds and was similarly disguised to look much older. Our Noodly Creator then placed fossils, hidden under the Earth’s surface, knowing that they would later be found-thus, seemingly proving that these creatures existed some time ago. Dinosaur bones, for example, were placed so well and in such numbers that it’s widely believed dinosaurs roamed the Earth millions of years ago. Interestingly, dinosaurs did exist, but not millions of years ago, because, of course, how could they have existed before the Earth was even here? In reality they lived with us, alongside-and occasionally on top of-humans around three thousand years ago."

Малка стъпка за Бога, голям скок за човечеството (A small step for God, one giant leap for mankind)

Jam ne unua, nek la dua, / Ekflugis la piratoj nune. / La universa ŝipo frua / Navigas venke ĉirkau Luno! / Kaj firme ni, pastafaroj, / Plenmastroj de la tempa maro, / Estonton tenas en la manoj / Por la feliĉo de la homaro!!! If the moon is made of cheese, what does sun contain? I am sure the Sun is one giant yolk of ostrich egg! And planets are made of different substances. In the case of Mars, this would be tomato sauce. However, it is possible that tomato sauce is only slightly stratum outside, at the surface of the planet, but below tomato-level there is some kind of pasta. And we are trying to find out more about the satellites. There is on the moon (of Jupiter) Europa a lot of liquid water under its icy surface (kingdom of heaven that we need for our pirate submarines) and atmosphere composed primarily of oxygen. Europa is now considered the most likely place to find extraterrestrial life in the solar system - maybe it exists in form of various modifications of complex-carbohydrate pastafarian beings.

Сомалия - много пирати, ниски въглеродни емисии (Somalia - lots of pirates, low carbon emissions)

Somalia has the highest number of pirates and the lowest carbon emissions of any country. Is it coincidence? Ho-ho! We expect to see a considerable drop in temperature worldwide when the widespread pirate activity will taking place. We do not consider ourselves sea bandits; we consider sea bandits those who illegally fish in our seas and dump waste in our seas and carry weapons in our seas. We are simply patrolling our seas. Think of us like a coast guard and protectors of the nature and the harmony! I suggest decorate the most notable Somali pirates with Stara Planina Order 1st Class (the highest state distinction of Republic of Bulgaria) for their patronizing of the cultural and historical heritage and the divine legislation and for the creation of new monuments along with their large-scale donations and their merits to stop global warming through their piracy activities and for the dedicatedly supporting of Euroatlantic integration of Bulgaria!!! They are patriots like Joan of Arc and fighters for social justice like Robin Hood. All others assertions are hypocrisy and double standard.

Малко гениални пастафариански пословички (Some genius pastafarian proverbs)

Du militas - FSM profitas; El la Dia cerbo venas la proverbo; FSM donis buŝon, FSM donos manĝon; Gardu min, FSM, kontraŭ amikoj – kontraŭ malamikoj mi gardos min mem; Granda Monstro instruas malgrandan piraton flugi; Kiom da teleroj, tiom da porcioj; Kiu ne preĝas, tiu ne rajtas manĝi; La vojo al la paradizo estas kovrata per boteloj kaj glasoj; Marmito uzata rustan ne konas; Miaj pensoj kaj sentoj apartenas nur al mi mem, sed la pensoj kaj la sentoj de la FSM apartenas al ĉiuj homoj; Ne ĉio brilanta estas fluganta; Ne el ĉiu tritiko oni faras spagetojn; Pastafaro muŝojn ne captas; Piratoj batas, piratoj kompatas; Pli bone spagetoj sen butero ol festenoj sen libero; Por pastafara orelo ne danĝeras vorto malbela; Preciza kuirado - duobla kuirado; Provu ĉiam agi bongustege, juste kaj virte; Religio venas dum la manĝado.

А ти, балансира ли си дажбата? (Did you balance your ration?)

Traditional European types of noodles are made from Triticum durum (because of that it is called macaroni wheat) while bread is made from common wheat - Triticum aestivum - therefore it is known as bread wheat. They are very different species, even the first is tetraploid, while the second one - hexaploid (exactly - allohexaploid). So, it is not accurately to say about "the wheat products" at all. The sacred spaghetti to a greater extent we must bring in our hearts and minds than in our stomachs. Healthy feeding means natural ingredients and gentle cookery methods (without adding any artificial ingredients) and drinking lots of water; also giving preference to local products. And it is important periodically receiving the sacrament of spaghetti and beer. To eat or not to eat meat is a choice for the individual and I do believe they should make an informed decision. We have decided to receive the Holy Pastafarian Sacrament with instant noodles with kimchi flavour. It is a matter of great difficulty and great fragility. The substantial thing is the soul of the beer - it is released when there is movement and oscillation and vibration - this can only be achieved by dumping the beer into a digestive tract - everyone must find the proper combination to achieve pastafarian mind. I believe in pastafarian heaven and Flying Spaghetti Monster gave us very clear images of it. We await the full enjoyment of all those good gifts in store for us - since they are promised us, it is as if they were already present.

Това вече не е само манджа (It is not just for diner anymore)

Трудносмилаемо е за разума и стомаха (It is too hard for the mind and the stomach to digest)

Една Библия, идеална за велики и всякакви други пости. Направена от сланина – за да се знае, че Единственият, Истинският, Живият и Вкусният Бог е Летящото Спагетено Чудовище! / An ideal Bible for those who are fasting during the Lent. Made of lard – to keep in mind that the Only, Real, Living and Delicious God is the Flying Spaghetti Monster / Библия, идеальная для великих и всяких других постов. Сделана из сала – чтобы никогда не забывать, что Единственный, Настоящий, Живой и Вкуснейший Бог – это Летающий Макаронный Монстр / Ideala Biblio por karesmo kaj aliaj fastoj. Farata el lardo – por scii ke la Sola, Vera, Viva kaj Bongustega Dio estas la Fluganta Spageta Monstro.

Монаси си разменят тукати в Храма на Божи Гроб(Monks are trading blows at Church of Holy Sepulchre)

The Orthodox Church is deeply out of touch with social reality, and it has negative impact on life in so called orthodox countries. The orthodox militants do not see what is really happening in secular society and they are masters of mafia-style. Basic human rights are seen as a product of the Western notion, which church representatives argue does not apply to us and should be replaced by Orthodox principles. Bulgarian orthodox proselytes said that the motherland is more important than human rights. Bulgarian Orthodox Church is symbol of ignorance, stupidity and covetousness.

Гадовете трябва да бъдат изхвърлени от българската наука (The crooks must leave Bulgarian science)

Доказан научен факт е, че според типичния български професор Земята е плоска и стои на гърба на четири гигантски слона, стъпили на корубата на суперкостенурка, плаваща из Първичния океан / It is a scientific-proved fact that the typical Bulgarian professor knows that the Earth is flat and sits on four giant elephants which in turn ride a superturtle, floating in the Primary ocean / Научно-доказанным фактом является то, что типичный болгарский профессор считает будто Земля плоская и стоит на четырех гигантских слонах, которые, в свою очередь, находятся на супер-черепахе, плавающей по Первичному океану / Scienca-provata fakto estas, ke la tipa bulgara profesoro opinias, ke la Tero estas plata kaj situas sur la dorsoj de kvar grandegaj elefantoj, staranta sur la carapaco de superkelonio, naviganta en la Primara oceano.

Ботев - най-великият пират в българската история (Botev - the greatest pirate in Bulgarian history)

"Приятно нещо е да има човек топла соба, самун хляб, парче сланина и няколко глави праз лук, пък да легне и да мисли или да спи и да сънува." [С това величайшее в нашата литература изречение, той започва "Политическа зима" - в-к "Знаме", г. I, брой 10 от 2 март 1875 г.). О, мой Боже, Летящи Боже! Ти, Боже на разума, Ти, що флаиш и в небесата и в мене, Боже - в мен, и в нета, и в гърнета, и в душата, и в сърцата, и в стомаха, и в черния дроб...

Христо Ботев, в-к "Знаме", 1 (14), 02.05.1875 (Hristo Botev, newspaper “Zname”, 1 (14), 02.05.1875)

Само разумният и братският съюз между народите е в състояние да унищожи теглилата, сиромашията и паразитите на човеческият род / Only the rational and brotherly alliance between people is able to wipe out the suffering, the poverty and the parasites of the humankind / Только разумный и братский союз между народами в состоянии уничтожить угнетение, бедность и паразитов человеческого рода / Nur la prudenta kaj la frata unuiĝo de la popoloj povas neniigi la suferojn, la mizeron, kaj la parazitojn de la homaro.

Спагетоподобно животно е съществувало преди динозаврите (Spaghetti-like animal preceded dinosaurs)

Scientists reported the finding of a fossil formed around a many-armed creature that looked more like a modern party favor than a living animal colonized a large section of the world's oceans over 300 million years before the first dinosaurs emerged, suggests a new study. There is no question the creature, believed to represent one type of animal, had a lot of arms. The arms were tubular and in close contact with each other, but not joined. The implications for pastafarians are obvious: this is strong evidence that the Flying Spaghetti Monster has been hanging around since time began, and created us all, including the dinosaurs.

Mia nomo estas Andrej Aleksandrov Kurtenkov kaj mi naskiĝis la okan de aŭgusto de la jaro 1966 en Plovdiv (la dua plej granda urbo de Bulgarujo). Mi loĝas en Ljulin (distrikto de la ŝtata ĉefurbo - Sofio) kaj en vilaĝo Belozem (deklarata kiel "Eŭropa vilaĝo de la blanka cikonio"). Mi estas veterinara kuracisto kaj mi laboras en Universitato de Forsto. Miaj profesiaj interesoj estas strutobredado, evolucio kaj tiel nomata biologia (organika, ekologia) bestobredado; mi serĉadas la perfektecon kaj strebadas laŭeble esti honesta kaj kreema sciencisto. Mi opinias ke la preskribita multlingvismo de la Eŭropa Unio estas bazo por la potenco de la eŭrokratoj kaj fakte kondukas al la dominado de la angla lingvo en ĉiu tereno. Mi kredas ke la Sola, Vera, Viva kaj Bongustega Dio estas la Fluganta Spageta Monstro. La apero de la Bulgara Pastafara Eklezio estis rezulto de la rabia strebado de tradiciaj bulgaraj religioj invadi en la bulgara klerigo.

Българска Пастафарианска Църква (Bulgarian Pastafarian Church)

20.8.13

БПЦ в "Терминал 7" (BPC in "Terminal 7")

1 коментар:

Важно за редовните посетители на нашия сайт! (Important for regular visitors of our site!)

Бог те обича и ни предлага чуден план (God loves you and offers a wonderful plan for us all)

Нека Летящото Спагетено Чудовище да ни освети! (May the Flying Spaghetti Monster enlighten us all!)

САЙТЪТ, КОЙТО ПРОМЕНИ СВЕТА (THE SITE THAT CHANGED THE WORLD)

Подкрепете петицията за по-сериозно отношение! (Support the petition for more serious treatment!)

Кой е създателят на безкрайната вселена? (Who is the creator of the infinitely universe?)

Из "Евангелието на Летящото Спагетено Чудовище (From "The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster")

Малка стъпка за Бога, голям скок за човечеството (A small step for God, one giant leap for mankind)

Сомалия - много пирати, ниски въглеродни емисии (Somalia - lots of pirates, low carbon emissions)

Малко гениални пастафариански пословички (Some genius pastafarian proverbs)

А ти, балансира ли си дажбата? (Did you balance your ration?)

Това вече не е само манджа (It is not just for diner anymore)

Трудносмилаемо е за разума и стомаха (It is too hard for the mind and the stomach to digest)

Божественият призив на патриарха:Яжте макарони (The divine appeal of the patriarch:Do eat macaroni)

Един от фалшивите богове е казал следната истина (One of the false Gods said the following truth)

Монаси си разменят тукати в Храма на Божи Гроб(Monks are trading blows at Church of Holy Sepulchre)

Заедно срещу православното тъпоумие (Together against the orthodox ignorance)

Човека-чехъл - най-опасният враг на Човека-паяк(Slipperman - the most dangerous enemy of Spiderman)

Гадовете трябва да бъдат изхвърлени от българската наука (The crooks must leave Bulgarian science)

ЛСЧ в цветовете на националното ни знаме! (FSM in the colours of the Bulgarian national flag!)

Ботев - най-великият пират в българската история (Botev - the greatest pirate in Bulgarian history)

Христо Ботев, в-к "Знаме", 1 (14), 02.05.1875 (Hristo Botev, newspaper “Zname”, 1 (14), 02.05.1875)

Един шашав кардинал благославя с микрофон (A cracked cardinal blesses with microphone)

Спагетоподобно животно е съществувало преди динозаврите (Spaghetti-like animal preceded dinosaurs)

ПРЕДУПРЕЖДЕНИЕ! (WARNING!)

Братско-сестрински църкви (Brother-sisterly churches)

Тя нахлузи евините одежди и отиде на църква (She dressed into Eve dress and went to the Church)

FSM - точното място да хвърлим котва (FSM - the perfect place to drop anchor)

Те трябва да се запознаят с моите научни трудове (Those dudes must read my scientific publications)

Три феноменални научни статии за ЛСЧ (Three phenomenal scientific articles on FSM)

Кратки научни съобщения (Short scientific communications)

БПЦ настоява за нова Конституция на РБ(BPC also calls for new Constitution of Republic of Bulgaria)

Голгота (Golgotha)

СВОБОДНИ (LATITUDINARIANS)

Най-готиният атеистичен сайт в Европа (The best atheistic site in Europe)

Нашата Света Троица (Our Holy Trinity)

Всичко за мен

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